How I Stopped Leading on Empty (and Started Building Systems That Restore Me)

There was a season in my leadership journey when being exhausted felt like the norm.

I’d wake up early to answer emails, spend the day in endless meetings, stay up late preparing for the next, and still feel like I wasn’t doing enough.

From the outside, I looked like I was thriving. I felt like I was thriving because I loved my role! But on the inside? I was over-functioning, overextending, and quietly burning out.

I convinced myself that it came with the territory.That leadership just was heavy.That being tired all the time was a badge of honor for “doing it right.”

I wore my ability to push through as a sign of strength…Until my body told me otherwise.

The Wake-Up Call I Didn’t See Coming

It wasn’t one big moment.It was a million little ones.

✔️ Riding home in silence

✔️ Laying in bed with a racing mind and a racing heart

✔️ Daily neck and headaches

✔️ Feeling nervous on Sunday nights because Monday felt like a mountain

One night I thought. I was having a heart attack until my husband helped me to understand that I was experiencing a panic attack. Once I calmed down I remembered thinking,

“If this is what leadership requires, I’m not sure I can continue feeling like this!”

But deep down, I knew the issue wasn’t leadership itself. It was the way I was carrying it.

• Skipping breakfast

• Skipping lunch

• Less than 6 hours of sleep each night

• Not scheduling breaks for myself throughout the day to decompress

  
  

From Survival to Sustainability

That’s when I started rethinking everything, especially my relationship with self-care.

I used to think self-care meant bubble baths and massages. (And don’t get me wrong I love both.)

But what I needed was a system that supported the mental, emotional, and physical load of leadership. A way to protect my energy instead of constantly recovering from burnout.

That’s when my self-care reset began, and it had nothing to do with luxury. It had everything to do with boundaries, habits, and clarity.

What I Know Now (That I Wish I Knew Then)

🌿 Self-care is a leadership skill, not a luxury. It’s how you make decisions with clarity, regulate your emotions during tough conversations, and lead with empathy and strategy.

📅 Systems are self-care. Calendar blocks. Time off. Clear workflows. Delegation plans. That’s not just operational, it’s emotional protection.

🧩 Your well-being is not separate from your team’s performance. When I was tired and unclear, so were they. When I prioritized my capacity, our impact multiplied.

Leading Today Looks Different

I still work hard. I still lead teams, coach clients, and carry big vision.

But I don’t run on fumes anymore.

Now, I lead from a place of alignment, not exhaustion. I check in with myself before I check in with my team. I build systems that protect my time, energy, and peace.

And no, it didn’t happen overnight. It took intention. Coaching. Boundaries. A few resets. And a whole lot of unlearning.

If you’re in that season where you're doing all the right things but feel wrong inside, you're not alone.

Leadership shouldn’t cost you your well-being. And self-care isn’t optional if you're building something that lasts.

Let this be your reminder:

You can lead with strategy and still protect your soul.

🌀 You just need the right systems.

P.S. Want more stories, strategies, and real-life leadership lessons in your inbox each week?📥 Subscribe to my email list and get the support you deserve as a leader who’s learning to lead well,

and live well.